This post is very personal to me. While i consider it somehow a beauty post... it is more of a 'beneath the surface' kind of post. This is why I've decided to start a series on the blog and my youtube channel called just that 'Beneath the Surface'. A few months ago, i made a decision to undergo Gastric Sleeve Surgery. This was not an easy decision to make by any means. In fact, i think it's been one of the hardest decisions of my life. I've been planning for several months because when you undergo such a procedure, you need to first comply with many doctor's appointments, nutritionist appointments, psychological evaluations and testing. Well, my day finally arrived and on January 20th, i underwent my surgery. The day before i decided to document my emotions as well as share the reasons why i felt that this was the best decision for me. Believe me when i tell you, this is by no means the easy way out. My earliest memory of being on a diet was when i was 12 years old.... 12!!!! I feel as though my life has been a constant diet. After having my twin girls, my struggle to lose weight became even harder. I've tried every diet you can think of and when i reach a 10-15lbs loss, i get stuck. The worst is feeling as though I'm starving and gaining weight! I've lost the person that i was... i don't recognize myself when i look in the mirror. My body aches and I'm deeply saddened and embarrassed about the way i look and feel. Last Wednesday, i decided to get my life back! This video is Pre-Op but i will be documenting and sharing my recovery and progress in hopes that i can help someone out there going through what I'm going through and feeling what I'm feeling. Thank you always for your love and support and most importantly, thank you for allowing me to share this very personal journey with you. Enjoy the video! (warning: it's raw and emotional) Xo, Carla - FMM